


Weeping Ashes

by Beb



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Fix-It, Fluff, Gen, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Natasha Romanov Feels, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Protective Loki (Marvel), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:48:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beb/pseuds/Beb
Summary: After Thanos broke his neck, Loki's ghost was alone for five years before he finally got some (old) friends.
Relationships: Loki & Natasha Romanov, Loki & Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 101





	Weeping Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> So I have a thing for writing about Ghost! Loki. 
> 
> Enjoy.

It was dark and cold. Loki remembered the moment of his death, the second his soul left his body. He remembered watching Thor cradle the lifeless corpse, remembered yelling at his brother to escape and save himself as everything around them came crashing down, as Statesman came cashing down. Still no matter how loud Loki screamed, Thor couldn't hear him. His voice no longer be heard.

Then it was just him. Alone in the void. Ha! Loki wasn't sure whether he should laugh, cry or howl. After falling - no, not falling, after letting go - Loki thought he had spent enough time in the void for the eternity. He wouldn't spend a single more minute here, consumed in the dark, not even as a ghost.

So he reached out. Not knowing how. Not knowing where. But he knew to whom. Thor's face cleared in his mind; his mismatched eyes, his trimmed beard, the scars that indicated his years of wars and battles. The centuries they shared; the laughter, the fighting, the tears, those times Thor tended to Loki's wounds even though Loki had tried to push him away, all of these; clear in Loki's memories.

The ghost reached out, and here his brother was.

Thor wasn't looking happy, far from it. He looked beaten, shredded to the bone. Something about that made Loki's cold, dead heart ache (how was that even possible?)

"Thor," Loki carefully lowered himself down next to his brother. Thor didn't turn his head nor did he acknowledge the younger brother's existence. And Loki didn't at all hold it against Thor for Loki knew Thor wasn't ignoring him. Thor simply couldn't see him. They were in different worlds now.

"What's wrong with him?"

Loki lifted his gaze up to the blondie, with short undercut hair, who was clearly talking about Thor as though Thor wasn't sitting isolated in the room with them. She was... new. Or at least Loki didn't know who she was; she wasn't one of the Avengers trying to stop him when he, under Thanos' control, attacked New York years ago.

"He's angry," _oh,_ Loki thought, _so the raccoon can talk._ Apparently there were a lot of unfamiliar faces in the Avengers; Loki hadn't been keeping up. "With himself," the raccoon continued, "he had the chance to kill Thanos, but didn't go for the head."

Right. Loki knew that look; Thor was blaming himself. His gaze returned to his brother; he looked suddenly much much older, like he carried so much, too much.

"Stop blaming yourself," he said even though he knew Thor couldn't hear him. "It wasn't your fault. I brought the Tesseract. I -" Loki stopped, pressing his lips into a thin line, knowing there was no use for a ghost to start an argument with a living. _Old habits die hard._ He sighed, gingerly placing a hand on Thor's shoulder. Thor couldn't feel the touch, the most Thor could feel was something on his skin. Just that.

But at least Thor did look in Loki's direction, and for a moment Loki thought Thor saw him. But then Thor sighed, and returned his eyes to his hands that folded together between his parted legs.

Loki felt momentarily stupid and naive for even let dangerous hope rise. Though he leaned in, whispering, "Not your fault. I'm here,"

______________________________ 

Watching Thor drown himself with grief and alcohol was hard. The hardest part being the inability to do anything about it.

Loki spoke less and less (since there was no one who could hear him) until he stopped speaking altogether. He had felt small when he was alive, he felt even smaller now as a ghost; could never been seen (that applied to when he was still breathing, living in the greatness of Thor's shadow as well, how ironic)

Part of Loki told him to move on already; there on the other side, there was warmth and there was sunshine. There on the other side, his mother awaiting. Yet Loki couldn't bring himself into leaving Thor to suffer alone. Loki couldn't be so cruel.

He only sat there, invisible in the corner, as Thor emptied another bottle of liquor.

_You should be Asgard's king,_ he thought bitterly. _Is it because of me? Am I holding you back? Norns, Thor you shouldn't be mourning me anymore. Our people need you. I need you to be strong._

_I need you to move on so I can - crossover._

Even now, begging to be forgotten, there was this part of Loki that was so very terrified by the thought of Thor forgetting about him. That childish, vulnerable part of him did not dare imagine what would become of them, if they were to move on from each other.

Like the centuries they shared never existed.

______________________________ 

_Fuck. Thor. Fucking Thor. That - that idiot,_ Loki wanted to scream. Thor and his Avenger friends were trying to stop Thanos. _Why won't they fucking learn?! They couldn't win. They couldn't win and they would all end up dead._

"Listen to me!" Loki shouted eventually. Obviously Thor couldn't listen, couldn't hear. As a matter of fact, Thor straight up walked _through_ Loki to go get his Stormbreaker, sharpening the weapon, and Loki could only have his mouth hang open. There was nothing he could do. Thor was going to get himself killed, and this time, there was nothing Loki could do.

______________________________ 

Thor was out there trying to defeat Thanos. Loki didn't have the heart to follow and watch Thor die. He stayed somewhere dark and quiet, knees pulled close to his chest as he buried his face between them. He was cold. So cold. Loki didn't know a ghost could be cold - especially a ghost of a Frost Giant, but Norns, he was so fucking cold he was shivering.

He recognized her voice. The surprising part was that she called him. "Loki?" Loki lifted his head up, and there Natasha stood. She was, dare he said, looking at him.

"Agent Romanoff?" He was taken apart. "You - you can see me?"

She said no word. It was the look on her face that gave it away. "Oh," Loki said quietly, mostly to himself, when it clicked. "I'm sorry," then he scooted over to give rooms as she walked over and sat down next to him, back against the wall, eyes not on Loki anymore but rather looking ahead.

Last time they met they were enemies. Now there was no point in fighting. No point in anything when they were both dead, sacrificed themselves in hope they could stop the Mad Titan when they should've known better.

"So you never left after all?" Natasha asked after a moment of silence. She still wasn't looking at him.

"Can't," Loki said, laughing wryly. "Someone needs to watch over Thor," he was quiet for a breath or two, then he added, "I know I can't do anything, but I can't leave the oaf either. How sentimental,"

Loki glanced at her sideways, contemplating if it was a good idea to ask, but there was nothing to lose. They were just two ghosts opening up to each other after all. "How did you die?"

Natasha's lips remained shut. At first he thought she was going to ignore him, but then she said, "it had to be me. Clint - I mean, Agent Barton has a wife and kids. And I owed him. It just," she smiled, her voice cracked, and Loki thought he saw tears in her eyes. "It just had to be me."

"You've gone soft, too." Loki teased (even if he, himself, wasn't in the mood for it) and wasn't sure if his comment would earn him a punch in the face, but Natasha only shrugged. She turned to look at him and said, "So are you."

______________________________ 

Tony joined them not long after. Loki wasn't shocked that the man died, what shocked him was when Tony told them they won.

Then it was just the three of them. Probably the weirdest team up of ghosts in ghost history, but they stayed together. None of them were able to move on. How could they when they were robbed from their lives way too soon, ripped apart from their loved ones. They had things on their mind, unfinished business, people (the living) they couldn't bring themselves into leaving behind. So they stayed.

Loki watched over his brother, Tony watched over Peter and Morgan, Natasha watched over Bruce and Clint, and Steve, too.

______________________________ 

"What's with the long face, Reindeer Games?" asked ghost Tony.

"It's my brother, and I told you to stop calling me that," Loki had his arms crossed, he looked annoyed.

"What about him?" Tony walked to stand next to him, ignoring Loki's earlier comment about the nickname.

"Can't you see? He's drinking. Again. Why is he still drinking? I thought he'd stop after he - after you got rid of Thanos,"

"Well, me getting rid of the purple ass doesn't mean me bringing back his dead brother, does it?" That was (in Tony's opinion) supposed to make Loki feel better. Loki felt a whole lot worse he almost winced.

(Even dead, Tony still didn't quite master the art of comforting words)

"Come on," he said, light pat on Loki's shoulder, "It takes time. I mean he drinks less, so that's a progress, right?"

"I guess," Loki murmured. Thor did drink less, but it was still too much for Loki's liking (not that there was anything Loki could do about it)

"Anyway," he turned to Natasha and walked over to her, "Guess what Morgan passed her math test!"

Loki didn't join them in celebrating Tony's kid. His eyes glued on Thor. Thor should be happy. Thor should be happy but he was still so sad, and by now, it was clear that it was because of Loki.

And there was that ache in Loki's chest again. A ghost getting hurt. How fucking funny.

______________________________ 

Loki departed from Tony and Natasha when Thor joined the Guardians. He couldn't say he agreed with Thor's decision of leaving New Asgard with Valkyrie, but - well, again there was nothing he could do.

Before he knew it he was on a ship with his brother and his (Thor's) new friends. Just lingering there.

Loki learned their names, the captain was Peter Quill, the blue girl was Nebula and the raccoon was named Rocket. Oh, and there was a talking tree, Groot. They seemed... tolerable. Peter and Rocket were too noisy in Loki's opinion, but he figured it was probably why Thor got along with them.

They didn't do much; just travel through the cosmos. Though being with them Thor seemed better, less sad. Loki still caught his brother shading tears, when he thought no one was looking, from now and then. But at least he had someone to keep his mind occupied.

Maybe it would even come the day when he eventually moved on. Then Loki would be free.

Then they would be free.

______________________________ 

Stephen Strange tried, was trying, to use his magic, play with timeline and possibilities, to bring back the dead. He wouldn't know if it was going to work, but it wouldn't hurt giving it a try.

(Because Stephen was the one who stood up for justice. And it wasn't fair that they died, wasn't fair that their lives were taken away just like that)

It first started when Tony, watching his daughter do her homework with Natasha, noticed the way the edge of his fingers began fading away.

"Uh oh," holding his hands up, it was spreading, clawing up his arms; he was fading away.

"Tony?" Natasha sounded alarmed. Clueless.

She looked down at her own limbs to be met with the same thing happening to her. They were both pulled away by unknown force; the force so strong they couldn't fight it.

Their eyes met each other and there was fear, not of the unknown of the thing happening to them but of the thought of them not being able to look over their loved ones.

"No," Tony shook his head, in denial. He couldn't bear the - the possibility - of him not being able to watch Morgan grow up, to see Peter graduate. He couldn't. He wouldn't. But he couldn't help it as his and Natasha's existence turned into nothingness. Their souls disappeared into thin air, and it was as if they were never there.

______________________________ 

Tony opened his eyes to another place; he wasn't in his daughter's room, yet the place was familiar. Too familiar.

(It wasn't heaven - unless heaven looked exactly like the cabin he built in the lovely woods for after-retirement life with his family)

He was, apparently, lying flat on his back in his bed in his room. What terrified him was that he felt it; his weigh on the sheet, and the thing was, he wasn't supposed to have weight; that was the living's thing. What he was - a ghost - he wasn't supposed to be able to make the bed shift.

This was - this wasn't right.

The door cracked open, and he quickly whipped his head to the side; it was Pepper. Seeing Pepper wasn't surprising (he'd been watching over her ever since his death, had been doing that since he was still alive) what was surprising was the look on Pepper's face. She looked shocked. So stunned she couldn't move. Then she muttered, so quietly to herself as if in disbelief, (Tony heard it anyway)

"it worked," she was saying.

Then again, this time louder. Then she started crying right at the spot.

And now it terrified Tony, terrified him so badly that she could _see_ him, that he could feel his weight on the mattress and that he felt alive. He could feel blood pumping through his veins, feel his heart beating. The feeling he thought would never return after he snapped his fingers. He felt very much alive.

"Oh my God, it worked!" Pepper's half-scream broke him out of his trance. He didn't have time to react when she rushed over and had her arms around him in the blink of an eye, hugging him tight enough she could break bones but he didn't care, hugging her back with enough enthusiasm.

He couldn't ask, what they did to bring him back, because he was too speechless. The How didn't matter, at least for now. For now, nothing else mattered, nothing but the fact he was alive and breathing, and he was hugging his better half.

______________________________ 

Professor Hulk dropped the phone after Stephen told him. He didn't know how to feel, didn't know if it was a good idea for him to dare hope and believe that Doctor Strange had successfully brought her back.

He didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to function. He thought he was having a panic attack but then, "Bruce?" A soft, familiar voice he missed so much, coming from behind. He slowly turned around and there she stood in flesh and bones. She was here and she was real.

"Nat?" Bruce lowered his glasses. She smiled at him, brightly and clearly. She was as beautiful as he remembered, and she was walking towards him.

For the first time since she went to Vormir, the smile on his face was sincere and lack of sadness.

______________________________ 

Thor returned to his room in the ship after a meal with the Guardians. He stopped at the door when he noticed it slightly cracked open. He was positive he had locked it.

His brows furrowed. He reached for the knob and carefully pushed it wide enough just for him to enter. Thor stopped dead in his track when he saw, standing in front of the window with his back towards him, a figure he recognized anywhere.

Thor sucked in a breath and held it. He was too afraid to move, afraid that if he moved or made any sound, _he_ would disappear and left Thor alone with his broken heart again.

The person seemed to know there was another person in the room with him. He turned around slowly with a warm smile, and he said, "Hello brother,"

**Author's Note:**

> If you folks want more of me, I am also available on [Tumblr.](http://bebx.tumblr.com/) Come chat. The inbox is open there.


End file.
